Sunday, June 20, 2010

Bad News First; Good News Last

So, it's been a while since we last updated you all on what's happening with the baby, our lives, etc. Here's what's been happening.

On the baby. We've been going to the doctor's office pretty regularly for the last month. We're scheduled to do something pretty much every week from now until the baby comes, so we're making a lot of trips to Salt Lake. Since our last post, things have worsened. The baby has developed something called hydrops fetalis, which essentially means that he is collecting fluids in and around vital organs in his body (in his case: lungs, heart, brain, skin, kidneys). This fluid doesn't allow for the proper development of those organs, thus making them function poorly. Since his organs aren't functioning properly, Lovetta has developed something called polyhydramnios (big fancy word for too much amniotic fluid). Essentially, she's gotten so big that she looks like she's ready to have twins (noting that we still technically have about 2 months to go for just one baby).

Between the hypertrophic cardiomyopathy and the hydrops, the baby is not expected to live very long. The doctors have told us that because Lovetta is getting so big, the odds for premature labor are extremely high. So, now we can throw "premature" on top of everything else. It doesn't look good :( Because of this we've decided to opt out of some of the interventions (none of which seem like they would be any kind of permanent solution) and instead are planning just to spend as much time with him that we can without tubes and wires all over him.

When we found out that he was likely to die shortly after birth, Primary Children's set us up to meet with a group of people in palliative care called the Rainbow Kids. It was a collection of people at the hospital focused on helping people in our situation make the best out of the time that we have with our children. They helped us with things like our Birth Plan and really helped us to try and refocus our mindset on the situation. It's helped a lot, but there are days (like today for me) where it still is especially difficult.

In somewhat related news, we decided to name our baby Max :D Maximo Thomas, in fact. Maximo is after my grandfather and Thomas is, well, after me. We both really like the name a lot.

On the garden front, we have a few of our first fruits!! We have 3 pea pods and 1 little tomato :D Some of our plants aren't doing as well as we would like due to some surprise weather. But others seem to be doing just fine and we're hopeful for a good harvest later in the season.

This is what your garden looks like in June when you plant in Utah. *shakes fist*

As far as jobs go, I'm happy to say that both Lovetta and I will be employed for next year! Lovetta was offered a position back at her school through a fortunate set of circumstances after we had discovered that it wouldn't be likely for us to have a baby come the new school year. It was a very kind offer and we're glad to have it! For me, I'm back working at BYU in a more supervising role than what I had before. It's part-time for now, but if you keep your fingers crossed, I might be able to get some full-time work there in the future. It's a great job working with a lot of people I really enjoy, so I couldn't ask for better. We've been truly blessed lately as far as work is concerned.

Speaking of work, Lovetta has started working on a new art project. It's a pastel piece of our neighbor's absolutely adorable little baby girl. Have a looksee:

Isn't that awesome?

6 comments:

  1. oh you guys, my heart is just aching for you so much right now! i cant even express words to the sadness i feel on your part and your precious little baby. i know i can say so many things, like you'll have him in the next life, and he is so special that he doesn't need to be on this earth long, but I also know that probably brings very little comfort right now. I will never forget when my nephew was born and then passed away, it was one of the most precious memories i have. I wish I had some way of comforting you right now, just know that you are in my prayers, and if I can ever do anything for you, please let me know. lovetta, i love you so much, please call me if you ever need anything. I love the name you have chosen for him, it is perfect!!!! you guys are amazing. lots of love, meg.

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  2. I love the name. What a perfect thing to name him after two important men in our family. We are so eager to see you next month. I can hardly believe it is almost time. We love you so much and think and pray for you always. Love Tani

    Love that drawing!

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  3. Tom! I didn't even know you guys were expecting! First: Congratulations! Second: I hope the delivery goes well and that you'll take LOTS of pictures of your little guy. I hope you get to spend a good amount of time with him after he's born. Those moments will be priceless. I will keep you all in my prayers.
    Love, Heidi

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  4. Oh, and third: Lovetta's picture really is amazing.

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  5. What a wonderful name choice...I totally agree with Tania's sentiments. You're in our hearts and prayers. Love you! ~Alicia

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  6. Lovetta and Tom, you two are such an example to me of having faith and relying on the Lord! We've put your name on the prayer roll for the past couple of months and kept you in our prayers and I know the Lord loves your family very much! I hope your days spent with your son are all you hope them to be.

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